I don't know since when or what the cause is but I've been having wedding fever these days. It's not so much a wedding fever as marriage fever -- granted I don't really catch the drift. Since 2010, I think, my life has felt frozen up. Not that it felt uneventful or so but more like I want to preserve the goodness of youth. I still feel like a high school girl -- which isn't good because we have to mature up sometime. In a world where romantic couples act like childish lots, maturity is one huge of an effort, it seems. According to a friend of mine, the way that Firu and I cook for one another is pretty mature and just like a married couple -- well, to be fair, that may only be one of many factors. That got me thinking: sometimes I forget that Firu and I are not yet married. Surrounding myself with older bloggers, whose majority are married, sometimes I feel like I myself have gotten married too.
The first few weeks into our relationship, I got thinking about marriage. From the start, it was quite clear that Firu was going to marry me -- then again, what boyfriend doesn't promise his girlfriend that? -- and I started planning. Not the wedding details but more of the marriage plans. First, something personal, just me, it doesn't even include Firu. I would like to start wearing hijab when someone decides to have my hand in marriage. This is a way of saying "completely sold out." I will not flaunt my vanity toward other people -- men, in particular -- and I will be a more mature and appropriate woman and wife for my husband. This is how I portray the image of hijabi ladies. However, I have forgotten this determination for months...until I started thinking about marriage again. And I've decided to have a bridal shower before I get married -- even though it's not the custom in Indonesia -- where I will probably sell or give away the pieces of clothing that I can no longer wear as a hijabi girl.
Has anyone watched the movie 27 Dresses? You haven't? Well, go have a watch. It's a total chick flick. But, inside, one of the characters talk about the difference between wedding and marriage, which I found very interesting. Ladies think about wedding all the time -- or so the movies say because I rarely meet girls who talk about their future weddings -- and (almost) never about the marriage. Is it really just about the wedding? Isn't it stupid to have weddings without the marriage? Is that why there are so many couples getting divorced in the end? Then again, as my sister's once said, "It's not like we want it be over going in." But, if more people consider more of the marriage than of the wedding, maybe there will be less divorces.
Personally, I have almost never thought of my own wedding. I still don't know which venue I'm going to use or which food will be there or what music will be playing or dress code...oh wait! No, I have thought of that last one: NO PINK! Because I hated pink. But now...I'm not saying I love it. But I guess it's acceptable...but not all pink so...I guess, still no. However, I have thought of the marriage so much. Well, in a daydream kind of way. We will be living in Indonesia. Maybe not in Jakarta, though. Firu would go to work at an office, I would stay home in my studio. I would pick up the kids from school and take care of them. Stuff like that. Anyway, if I were to fantasize about my wedding, I would love mine to be like Elsie's, it's just too darling! It is, by far, the most adorable wedding I've seen so far. Go see for yourselves! Cheerio!
P.S: No, I'm not getting married anytime soon. Oh! And today is one my close friends, Cynthia's birthday!