Today is a Wednesday. Like 5 years ago, it is a Wednesday. Unlike five years ago, I'm not living in Indonesia and I don't go to school anymore. Why? Why do I keep mentioning five years ago? Well, apparently, on March 7, 2007 I lost the most important person in my life -- My mother. You remember my mother, I've shown you some pictures.
My dad said a few words. My grandma cried her eyes out. I held my brother so closely, so tightly, pretending I was being strong for him. Who was I kidding? I was trying to hold back tears. We prayed for her. All of us, together. How weird to realize there were so many people that I knew but never really talked to. They prayed for her too.
It was not until I moved closer to my best friends and saw that they were crying and they said, "If you can't cry, we'll cry on your behalf," that I cried. I cried the hardest cry I ever did.
It was the beginning of a bittersweet turn of events. People started noticing me at school, saying hi to me as I passed by them. Slowly but sure they all remembered my name. It was strange but somewhat comforting. Even people who usually picked on me turned around and apologized to me. Seriously, it was really strange.
Well, anyway, it has been five years and I'm still standing. I have grown up a lot since then. I've graduated high school, learnt Japanese, became more feminine, found the love of my life, flew to Germany and lived life in Europe. Sometimes I still remember her at still moments and tears start to roll down my cheeks. I love her, so much. I love how I remind myself so much of her. I can love thousands of people after her in my life. But now and forever she will be the person I love the most.
May you still rest in peace, Mom. Don't forget your doppelgänger here; she loves you ♥