This morning I was just reading up on some of my favourite blogs and stumbled upon Zahra's post about relationships. I thought it'd be fun to have my own say in the matter as well. Despite my big talks and the way that I am, I'm a girl who lives for love. Not just love between a man and a woman but also love between friends and family. Love for the earth, for the world and for God. On this post, though, I'm going to focus on the...let's say, OBVIOUS meaning of the word.
As I have said before, I've never had a relationship before Firu. That is not to say that I haven't tried. Although, I think the meaning of relationship for me and for people (especially girls) my age are totally different. For me, being in a relationship is as simple as being loved back by the one that I love -- or what I might've thought as love. That, of course, gets a little more complicated since the actual meaning of love differs from each person. But, at the very least, I don't jump into relationships just because I need someone to hold me tight or be my everything. I'm a realist. I think about things before I decide for or against it. This also applies for relationships. In fact, around 2 seconds before I actually went forth with being with Firu, I asked an old classmate of mine what being a relationship is all about. I absolutely love his answer.
"Storytelling," he said.
He elaborated by saying that the storytelling could be done whilst doing other activities. So, basically, it's to have someone we can tell everything to and do everything with. But it was put so simply, that whatever pressure I felt for being in a relationship was gone. Some people say that being in a relationship needs a whole lot of work and compromises. I can't say they're wrong but, if you have to work hard on a relationship, how are you supposed to enjoy it? Isn't the whole idea of being in a relationship is to have someone you can lean on and take all the stress away? I've always thought that love is enough to have in a relationship. Why should it not be? I still think so now. Some people think my and Firu's relationship is a perfect and mature one. It's not. We may be mature some times and immature others. We fight, cry and attest each others too. But we know that, in whatever kind of situation, we still love each other. And, as long as that is still true, we can stand against any waves and storms.
Being in a relationship should be based with love. But it is built on trust, understanding and commitment. To create these pillars, communication is vital. There's nothing wrong with having problems in a relationship. No relationship is perfect. What makes it perfect is probably the effort to solve the problem and work things out. Stupid rules and jealous fools should be erased. This isn't the government, why bow down to tyranny? Compromise is good but boundary is better. Consider the pros and cons. We are humans, with logic. If we can't control our emotions and desires, what better are we than animals? To put simply, don't rush into things. Talking about this will actually lead to a book with me.
People these days get so easily fooled by other people's (or even their own) infatuation. This could affect them badly. Maybe this is how a person could get in and out of relationships so easily. Maybe it was also a blessing that up until Firu, no one I'd liked ever reciprocated my feeling -- let alone love. Okay, sure, there are boys claiming to 'have feelings' for me in the past. None of them ever really liked me, though. They only liked the illusion of me that they created in their heads. I got so used to this -- having one-sided feelings and being adored for the illusion that I transmitted -- that I found it hard to believe Firu, at first. I'm a non-girl with many flaws and mistakes, secrets and embarrassments. How could someone even think of cherishing a shameless boyish girl like me? Obviously, back then my self-esteem was pushing close to zero. I reconsidered and pondered everything Firu did/said as we got close and he confessed his feelings for me. And with good reasons! There are only a handful of people who's accepted me the way I am: my best friends and my family. Other people like to create an illusion of me and pretend it's the truth. It's not. Firu, then, added up into that handful of people.
To sum up, I do hate the term girlfriend/boyfriend because of the impression they'd had in my head for years. Two people of opposite sexes who cuddle against one another, being gooey and disgusting, living in a romantic world. Romance fades but love has to live on. Even though my life has seemed a whole lot like I was on a quest for boyfriends, it's not. It's a quest for love -- or so Mimin says. I want to love someone and that someone to love me back. Thank God that I am fully flawed and not ashamed to show them. That way, it's easier for me to see who accepts me and accepts me for who I am. Right at this moment, I love Firu and he loves me. That may not seem like much but it's enough for us at the moment. So go, find your loved ones, tell them you love them and don't hold back. Don't be desperate to find a 'boyfriend/girlfriend'. You don't need them. You need only to cherish. Cheerio!