Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Here's The Story...

Here's the story, not that it needs telling because everyone who matters already know and those who don't never ask, but I'm going to tell it anyway. I am moving back home to Indonesia. After three years of living in Germany, I am going back to Indonesia for good. It's still way surreal and giving me mixed feelings. After three years of doing various things, of trying out different things, I'm going back home. As I've hinted in my previous post, not many people support this idea. Here's why: I haven't finished my undergraduate studies yet. I applied to art schools and got rejected two consequent years. So my going home, to some people, just seem like giving up, like a hail mary, like running away. They tell me to just continue my studies here, continue studying something that I'm not passionate about, something I picked from the start only to stall.

'Can't you continue your previous major?'
'What's wrong with it?'
'You can try again next year.'
'Such a shame, someone with your caliber.'
'If you keep going, you can get a degree, you know.'

Here's the story: I don't know where I'm going from here. I've got some plans in mind but also not sure how they will turn out. I want to try out as many things as possible if God will allow me. My parents, my family, they're extra supportive of my decision. My best friends are more than happy to have me back home, with or without a frikkin' degree. These people, the people who actually matter, they know who I am, they know what I'm trying to become and they know what people these days are capable of even without a title at the end of their names. These days, more and more people who never or haven't gone to college or university are getting more things done. Some people drop out of uni to pursue their actual dreams and they work hard for it and they pursue it. Who cares about a piece of paper which might not even guarantee your ability to actually do as many things as those who don't have a degree? Some professions probably still need degrees because they are mandatory. But let's not turn a blind eye on other options, other doors, other choices that will bring us to the same place.

Here's the real story: After 3 years in Germany, pursuing the one thing I wanted - with the lack of information that I obtained way too late, the one thing that I never achieved in the end. Looking back, I knew I could've done better. If I could turn back time, I would've done things differently. But I can't. So I'm just moving forward. There's no guarantee that things would've turned out differently, had I done all the things I should've done, anyway. So I'm just moving forward. I choose to start over in a place I know so well and I believe I could easily fit in. It's probably a coward's way out but I certainly don't see it that what and it's what I've decided.

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