You Are Forever My Safety Net

When I was little, I used to wear the same thing over and over again because I just loved it so much. Usually it was a piece that I found highly comfortable or really pretty...or both. Mama would not have it. She would complain about this habit of mine and even had the housekeeper put the freshly ironed clothes under the old ones so that, knowing I would grab the top ones to wear first, I would not wear the same thing over and over again. But clothes are a tricky thing. Even through all that, I would still own a jacket that I would wear all the time. I wouldn't let it be washed unless it finally stank. Don't we all have that? Something to fall back on? Something, though we've outgrown, we couldn't muster the courage to throw it away because of all the memories it supposedly stores. Something we could just throw over our heads when we feel the least motivated to dress up. It's always nice, isn't it? To know you have a lifeline to hold on to.

H&M beanie + socks // unbranded blouse // New Yorker pullover // Primark cardigan // C&A pants // boots via froschgrün

There's also another reason to wear the same item over and over: just purchased. Like any other relationships, one between a wearer and a clothing item goes through stages. First of all, of course, is the honeymoon phase, where the item looks absolutely perfect and the wearer would be obsessed with it. Sure, there are people who buy something and, once they got home, they'd forget all about it. But not me, nuh uh. I would be jumping on my tiptoes, excited as hell to pair the item with everything else I own and see how it'd look. So please bear with me and the need to wear these pants over and over again a little longer as we are still in the first phase. By the way, I saw Marlen wearing a blouse plus sweater layered with a cardigan that I wanted to try what it would look like on me. It probably would have worked better with a less chunky cardi, though.

That Time We All Came Together

Last weekend was one of those magical moments when two of my current beloved people come together and I just, you know, feel all giddy and happy about it. It all started around the end of January when I was still in a haze of wanderlust and longed for yet another adventure. That was when I decided to purchase some awesome concert tickets to see Lucy Rose live in Cologne. At first, I was sure it was going to be a blast because I would actually see Lucy upclose and personal! I would stay at a friend's place overnight and leave in the morning. But everything changed when my friend, Cindy, asked me to stay over and hangout, Saku decided to come with and Firu's finals ended early. Tripple yaay!

Fried Bolognese Risotto Balls

I've been wanting to try out this recipe for months but for some reason never came around to it. I'm a huge fan of italian food so, of course, I also love Risotto. But I'm all about making/doing things that most of anyone has never done/cooked before so here's to cranking it up a notch. Original recipe is from  the Personal Trainer: Cooking game from Nintendo. And yes, I was inseparable from my NDS all the while I was cooking this. Haha.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 small onion
• 1 cup uncooked rice
• 1/3 cup white wine (I substituted it with vinegar)
• 2 1/2 cups water
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 tbsp butter
• 4 tbsps olive oil
• salt + pepper to taste
• 1/3 cup tomato sauce (the recipe recommends making it but I bought one)
• 3 oz. fresh mozzarella (or as required)
• Cooking oil for deep frying

For the coating (as required):

• Flour
• Beaten egg
• Bread crumbs

1. Dice the mozzarella into 1/4" cubes then peel and finely chop the onion
2. Put the butter and olive oil in a saucepan, place it over moderate hit and make sure the butter and olive oil coat the bottom of the pan
3. Add the chopped onion and sautée until it's tender 
4. Add the rice and sautée it briefly
5. Add the white wine/vinegar and simmer it (to cook off the alcohol, if you're using wine)
6. Add HALF of the water to the pan and bring it to a simmer over moderate heat
7. Once it come to a boil, reduce the heat so that the surface is bubbling and continue to simmer until the water evaporates
8. Afterwards, add 3/5 of the remaining water and continue to simmer
9. While simmering, stir occasionally (with a wooden spoon) so the rice doesn't become sticky
10. When the liquid has evaporated, add the rest of the water, simmer until it too has evaporated
11. Add the tomato sauce and the parmesan cheese and stir them in
12. Season with salt and pepper to taste then turn the heat off
13. Transfer the risotto to a dish, spread it out and allow it to cool then cover it with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge to chill
14. Afterwards, drizzle some olive oil on the risotto before dividing it into equal portions and rolling each portion into a ball
15. Make a hole in each ball, put the mozzarella cubes in and close up the ball, positioning the mozzarella in the middle
16. Put the coating ingredients as required in three different dish/bowls
17. Coat each ball in flour lightly then dip it into the beaten egg and press it into the bread crumbs to fully coat the surface
18. Heat the oil on a frying pan at 350ºF
19. Put each ball into the pan until the coating is slightly crispy. It's ready when the ball has floated to the surface or the coating is golden brown. Tip: let it in a little longer unti it's a little bit burnt just to be on the safe side.
20. Take the balls out once they're ready, let the oil dry on a strainer and serve them while they're hot!

Tips: It's okay not to pour the water little by little. I actually made a mistake of pouring it all at once. But I think it'd take less time to pour it step by step like the recipe says. It's okay not to use block mozzarella. Block ones just make it easier to place inside the ball of rice. I advise you to add a lot of salt. The tomato sauce makes it more sour than you would realise. And as per deep frying, don't drop the ball into the oil, place it gently but carefully. 

There are a lot of steps and it looks really complicated, doesn't it? But, believe me, it's actually easier than it seems and I was surprised by how without obstacles everything went. I ate six of these bad boys and it was enough to get me through the day and night. Lass euch schemecken!

Back in the School Days

『泣いて笑ったあの日々なんだか昨日の事のよう』 - supercell, さよならメモリーズ

("Those days of tears and laughter, they seem only yesterday" - supercell, Sayonara Memories)

Ask me six years ago what I imagined I would be when I'm twenty, I probably would have said "Oh, I'll be well off school and preparing to get married." Yes, that was the naive and fairy-tale-believing me. But here I am, twenty years old, just started school, have yet to figure out her future let alone get married. I learnt, afterwards, that life wasn't all that planned out and simple. That girl, who believed, she had no fashion sense, sucked at socialising and was physically a loser. But I loved that girl. She was a carefree gal who believed anything could happen, any dream could come true. Don't you sometimes miss a simpler version of yourself? I do. I missed the times when my biggest worry of the day was not being able to finish a submission to a small art/design competition at deviantART on time or if I would have the chance to see that crush of mine at school.

When I was younger, I dreamt of being a mangaka (Japanese comic artist) and, though I knew life would probably be a little more miserable than I would bargain for, I thought I could be happy living in a set of deadlines, piles of inked pages and scraps of tones. Somewhere along the way, I had a change of heart. And since then on, life hasn't been as simple as it was before anymore. To that girl, I could've been anything and I could be happy. To this girl, I had to work hard and it feels like I'm inside a tunnel with no ends. I worry about the future so much that I don't know what to do anymore and I, who once thought I could do it all, suddenly feel like I'm never going to be good enough. This scares me the most.

Primark coat // Number 61 blouse // 1982 kids varsity jacket // H&M skirts + tights // C&A scarf // boots via froschgrün // thrifted backpack via Oxfam

While what she had I lost, what she didn't have I gained. That girl had many dreams, one of which was being loved by a man. That I made come true. Well, not so much made as it just sort of, kind of happened by fate. I was gifted by Firu's love and, through that, I gained some self-confidence in myself. In how I look, my personality and all my quirks. Firu is the only man outside my family who takes me as I am and I am grateful for that. I then lost some weight, gained some fashion sense and this blog was born. If I hadn't obtained any self-confidence, you would probably not be reading this thing right now for it wouldn't've existed. Fate is a funny thing, though. Because, by the time Firu and I made our way to our relationship, I was already more mature than 'that girl' was, enough to know what I wanted and needed wasn't in the guy I liked before him. Enough to know that to let go of him.

Lately, I've been thinking of that girl a lot. She was a happy yet miserable girl. She had gone through quite enough and stood tall as if nothing's happened. She wasn't afraid to be who she was, no matter what other people said. Sure, she was immature and had some boundary issues (Haha don't ask!) but she had more friends than she realised. She was never lonely, even when she was alone. Because her imagination was boundless and she was always surrounded by her loved ones, even the imaginary ones. It may sound insane to you but I wanted to go back to that. Reality has consumed me too much these days, what with being awesome and all, that when it crashed and burnt, I didn't know where to go. Now I do.

Illustrators Arise: Matthew Ellero

Hello, everyone! Welcome to this month's Illustrator Arise (evolved)! If you're not familiar to this feature, I will basically introduce my favourite illustrators from all over the world every month in the form of an interview. This month's lucky fella happens to be a quite unique one I've found so far. Welcome to the stage, Matthew Ellero!

A: Hiya, Matt! Thanks for this opportunity. For starters, could you tell our readers a thing or two about you and what you do?

M: My name is Matthew Ellero, I'm 29 and I'm a freelance illustrator. I live in Peterborough in Cambridgeshire.

A: What first got you into illustration?

M: Back in primary school I saw a book by Rolf Harris about cartooning. I loved that book and would copy the pictures in it. After a while I started to create my own characters and drew my own comic books, and I have been drawing ever since!

A: What are your most prized works?

M: Probably my most recent work - which was a competition to illustrate a vinyl sleeve for Laura Marling's song 'The Beast'. There are another couple of recent illustrations 'swing' and 'flower alphabet' which I really feel is me beginning to find my niche. I'm also proud of my first wall mural - for a school in Lincolnshire - which took a couple of months to complete and was a massive learning curve, but was very enjoyable and all the pupils got involved!

A: Do you usually work digitally or traditionally? What kind of tools do you usually use? 

M: A mixture of both really. I really like working traditionally, and tend to do most of my work that way, but will often add colour to my illustrations in Photoshop. I use a lot of tools: scissors, pencils, card, scanner, graphics tablet, photoshop, Canon camera, foam board, double sided sticky pads. The sticky pads are a great help when i'm building the 3D frame for my papercuts.

A: Ah, speaking of 3D papercuts, I found a lot of 3D Papercuts in your gallery/website. What inspired you to get into that in the first place?

M: It was really trying to find a niche for my illustrations- trying to do something that other people were not doing. One of my pencil illustrations was really detailed and I wondered what it would look like in 3D so I created a 3D papercut and loved the results. I've been trying to refine my papercuts ever since. They are really time consuming and I'm trying to find a way to get better results, quicker.

A: Do you have any artists you look up to? Anyone who inspire you?

M: Camille D'errico is inspiring - I love her characters and how she has been able to make a career out of drawing. Looking at photos of her working you can see she is really enjoying what she is doing.

A: What does the future look like for Matthew Ellero?

M: Hopefully a life spent illustrating books for children. My dream job! I would love to have children and read to them a book that I have illustrated.

A: How did you first start out?

M: I was actually working for a local council but after 5 years in the Communications and Marketing department was made redundant. It gave me the opportunity, and drive, to go freelance. It's hard work and i'm still learning from my mistakes but hopefully i'll get there one day!

A: Thanks for the time, Matt! One last thing: What kind of advice would you give novice illustrators out there?

M: I still view myself as a novice illustrator so not sure how much help I can be but i'd say try and find your own niche. Don't copy other styles but find your own. Freelancing is lots of hard work- it is good to have a part time/full time job to begin with to help with finances as it could take a few years to become fully established.

Noah's Ark mural with over 100 animals

Laura Marling's "The Beast" vinyl sleeve 

Fire in London 3D Papercut (my personal favourite)

What I indubitably adore about Matt's style: The unique 3D papercut idea was the first to be noted, of course. I love how he stacks one detail after another, turning them into a small panoramic setting. I love his childish style and those adorably huge heads. Haha. Although most his works are in black-and-white, when he uses colour, I love the soft colours and shading he chooses. Suitable for children.

Journey to the Mountains 3D Papercut

Thanks for stopping by! Don't forget to stop by his gallery. Also, check out last month's feature here.