This Time Last Year

(In My Head) I Do Everything Right

Washed Up with Regret

Perhaps I should've written this post sooner, as now that shark week is in full force, I can no longer remember how to feel happy or even simply content. This past week has been rather like a roller coaster of sorts. Monday was great, Tuesday was amazing, but things started going downhill from Wednesday—it was the start of my period. As I was underprepared, I had to resort back to a disposable menstrual pad and quickly went home to get my menstrual cup ready. Thursday got me feeling absolutely blue from the get go and Friday was just pure hell. I hate period brain—it ruins everything. Maybe guys won't understand this—and some girls too—but I feel like I'm losing all rational thoughts on my period. Anger and tears would seep out of me uncontrollably and I'd wish the earth would just swallow me whole. Friends and family can throw logic at me and I'd evade them with no difficulty. But I would have more sense in the morning and my mind would be washed up with regret. And repeat. Do you feel the same way on your period?

Swapped shirt via Tukar Baju // Ask by Asky dress (old) // thrifted loafers // hand-me-down purse // photos by my sis

Right now I'm at the phase when I regret what I did last night—how I acted, how I reacted, what I decided to do and not do. Being on my period isn't unlike being drunk, to be honest. The next morning, I would have horrors about the way that I behaved the previous night, wishing I could turn back time and erase the decision that drove me to act as such. I wonder, though, if I could learn to control it somehow. If I'd just reduced stress beforehand or eaten better, perhaps I could have less emotional turmoil as menstrual blood flows from my insides. If I'd exercised more or had enough sleep, maybe I wouldn't be such an emotional wreck by the time shark week starts. Or maybe this is just an embarrassing phenomenon that we all have to bear as women. Or perhaps, even, just me. At times like this, I'm ashamed to say that I wish I was a man instead. Gosh, just imagine! If this is what I'm like during my period, who knows how I'll be like when I'm pregnant...

A Moment of Peace in the Storm

 Balkoni

Last weekend my sister and I tried out a new place to eat. We stumbled upon it partially by accident, but it was such a quaint corner that we welcomed it. The place was rather small, but big enough to contain at least 20 people. The interior was very cozy and rustic. The light hits the place just right, especially around the time of our visit. They have such a unique selection of food and beverage too. Personally, I love their pasta dish—particularly the Spaghetti Alfredo. The cream is perfectly measured and matched with the chicken very well. I also tried their Yuzu Iced Tea, while my sister ordered their Es Kopi Gula Aren. Love the taste of both! Not to mention the cute can-like glass that they use for the coffee. I'll most likely come again—at least for the pasta alone. Lastly, let me just say a word or two about this t-shirt I'm rocking. It has Ranma and Akane on the front! A former co-worker of mine got it for me from Japan—although he ended up forcing me to pay for it in the end. Finally, a tee with my first love on it! 

Gifted t-shirt // vintage skirt // old hat + purse // thrifted loafers // photos by my Sis

Lately, I feel like I haven't had the time to really unwind and relax. Caught between my full-time job and other commitments—not to mention bouts of melancholia—I often don't feel like I could indulge myself in my leisurely hobbies anymore. When was even the last time I had 30 minutes to bury myself deep in a book? Honestly, it's crazy when you think about it. Yes, it's as stressful as it sounds.  I think it's partly due to the demands my work entails and partly due to my own negligence towards my own mental health. People don't realise sometimes that it can be quite tricky when you're an ambivert—you both want to constantly stay in people's company, but get absolutely drained when you don't get enough me-time too. Luckily, my partner-in-crime at work—and all of my beautiful, sweet interns—are very helpful and kind, so it lifts my mood a lot. They always become the highlight of my day. No matter how tired and stressful you are, when you can laugh with your friends like this, doesn't that make it worth your while somehow?

Boba with the Brilias

As siblings, my brother, sister and I are quite obsessed with boba—well, okay, maybe it's just me. Whenever we hang out, we almost always go get boba. In fact, the time this photo was taken, having boba was pretty much the main goal. For a while after my sister and I started cutting down on plastic, we were pretty bummed that we couldn't get boba anymore...until we could. Lo and behold, the existence of stainless steel boba straws. Whoever invented this beauty has my everlasting gratitude—like seriously. We got ours from kaavya, which is such a great place to buy your first zero waste kit. We would also love to thank Ace Hardware for these glass containers—which my brother also just got for his birthday—as they've enabled us to get any sort of beverage without plastic. Boba just happens to be our number one choice. And—you know what?—we can often buy boba for less and get more content with these babies. Who says going low impact doesn't have its perks?

Old dress // hand-me-down jacket (Mom's) + socks (Sis's) // thrifted loafers // photos by Sis

Earlier last week my best friend Uli just came to the house to borrow my yukata. There's only one problem—I don't remember where I stored it. When she arrived, we went through the deep corners of my wardrobe looking for that ensemble. Eventually, we found what we were looking for. In the process, we managed to unearth several pieces of clothing I haven't seen in such a long time. They all belong to my late mother—including this beautiful jacket I was wearing. I think I used to pass on this jacket when I first spotted it, perhaps around 5 years ago. It wasn't what I gravitated towards then, but, man, if it's not what I'm besotted with now. It's a really cool jacket to wear at work—which prompted one of my colleagues to call me "boss lady." It's perfectly warm and incredibly sleek too. Pairing it with this casual, slightly feminine dress, it creates a lovely contrast, don't you think? I love how the colours just compliment each other rather well too.

Hiding in Plain Sight

 Yamalu

June is almost always a special month for me, because it's the month of the most birthdays in my family—with my Stepmom, sister and brother having their birthdays three days in a row. Last weekend—right after Eid—was their birthdays. We didn't really do much to celebrate, but my siblings and I did nip out for a bit of a chat. My sister and I have been wanting to visit this small café not too far away from where we live. It's a road we often pass by—even as a child on the way to our primary school—so it was kind of surprising to find such a gorgeous, luscious place here. It is like a refreshing corner as a break from the highly congested and polluted city. Absolutely beautiful! The place was pretty packed when we arrived—clearly, I'm not the only one who was thinking of photo op. I can't say they weren't on the pricey side, though, but it's hardly a surprise for a place like this. Although it was their birthdays, I forced my siblings to take my photos—lol sorry and thank you, guys! Read my thorough review here, if you're curious—sorry, Indonesian only.

Vintage dress (from a friend) + purse (hand-me-down) // thrifted loafers // outfit photos by my sis and bro

Can we talk about this outfit for a second, please? I know I rarely talk about my clothes anymore—strange for a fashion blog, huh?—but this is one of the newest additions to my wardrobe. A friend of mine gave it to me one day, although it won't come for free. I still owe my friend for it, making it one of the first items I'm purchasing in two years or so. At first, I wasn't sure I was going to like this piece, but my friend was so kind as to let me try it on before taking it with me. It turns out to fit my figure and complexion rather well—inevitably I fell in love. When I see this dress—or, rather, me in it—I can imagine my Mom rocking this getup too when she was younger. That alone makes me feel much closer to her in it—and probably one of the reasons I ended up holding this number close to my heart. Oh, wow, just listen to me prattle on about a dress! How cliché for a blogger, am I right?

Laut Kita: The Reality of Our Oceans

This year, for Eid, our family didn't go visit the Grandparents. My beloved Grandma just recently passed away—we made two trips to visit her when she was in the hospital and when she was freshly buried, which left us with barely enough money for Eid. Long story short, we ended up staying in Jakarta for the last week of Ramadan—except for my Stepmom who went to Semarang to visit her mother and son. Anyway, that left my sister and I with enough time to roam about the city while we're both off duty from work—specifically to visit the Laut Kita exhibition we've been wanting to visit for weeks. This exhibition is brought to you by Sejauh Mata Memandang, not unlike the installation they did last year, and it highlights the rising urgency for action in the wake of our waste crisis—particularly considering its impact on our oceans. The exhibition takes up a total of four rooms, each showing us exactly how our incessant need to produce trash has impacted sea life. In fact, it turns out microplastics can be found in our own poop too. If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.

Madjani hijab (old) // swapped shirt + pants (via Tukar Baju) // thrifted loafers // hand-me-down bag // 

outfit photos by my sis

Do you know that, here in Indonesia, by 2018 we have reached overcapacity of our landfills? Do you know what happens to our waste since then? There's not much of a choice but to dump them into the sea, by way of rivers and canals. This plastic waste then goes on to terrorise our sea creatures, either killing them slowly or causing them unimaginable pain. The term, "put your trash where it belongs" no longer applies, because no matter where we discard our garbage, it will make its way to sea one way or another—I guarantee you. The best thing we can do, instead, is to really be conscious of the things we buy and cut down on our waste. Here are some tips on how you, too, can cut down on plastic and find substitutes for them. Because—you know what?—if we don't start now, by 2050 there will be more plastic waste than fishes in the sea. If you don't believe me, try swimming in the sea or walking along the beach yourself and see if you can't find a single trash. We need to get rid of the out-of-sight-out-of-mind attitude and really take responsibility for our waste—lest we should drown in them.