The Last of Us: The Brussels Diary

Hello again, guys! I'm baaaack. I'm not sure if anyone's waiting for me but I'm just going to let you know that I have a new post for you. If you follow me on instagram, you should've known by now that I went to Brussels last week. We had the worst luck during this trip: our bus broke down on the way there, it rained on and off during most of our time there, it stormed in Germany while we were in Belgium which ruined our train schedule and we were pretty much stranded on our way home. But I'm glad we went there, which is something I'd been wanting to do since last semester. It was, all in all, a rather fun albeit seemingly short trip.

WARNING: This post will be a rather long one so feel free to skip it if you don't want to know anything about the trip. Just don't say I didn't warn ya!

See You Again Soon!

I'll be going away for a week from tomorrow on. Well, actually, I'm already away as you're reading this. Not that it should matter what with the sporadic blogging I've been doing lately. Anyhoo, I am going on a trip abroad and there will surely be tons of photos to share and I cannot wait to share them with you all later on. You can follow me in realtime on my instagram. Meanwhile, I made an appearance over at Beyond Sober earlier this week. Do check it out, in case you haven't. Hope you enjoy it and see you again soon!

Someday You Will All Be Missed

First and foremost, thank you so much to everyone for their comments and support on the last post. It was so overwhelming and I cannot thank you enough. Now, quite recently, I made a list of 50 things I will miss about living in Germany. Seeing as 50 things are a lot indeed, I can't remember them all. But one of them is definitely about having nature as close and approachable to me as malls back home. This will definitely be one of things I will miss greatly. Geographically speaking, forests in Indonesia are supposed to be better and more appealing than German forests. Most of the natural landscape or locations in Germany are man-made, they are rebuilt purposefully closer to the cities and towns. That sure explains why they are more approachable. But, anyway, most forests in Indonesia have burnt down or torn down thanks to some foreign/local company and it leaves nothing for us to see or for the animals to live in. Such a shame. Being surrounded by greeneries is so refreshing and healing. When I have a bad or tiring day, taking simple walks at the park can help me feel a whole lot better or calmer. You shall be missed, little beauties.

N.y.L.a top // thrifted shorts // Tally Weijl belt // hand-me-down bag // Tracce ballerina flats

Another recreated outfit from last year. This time it's from last fall, this is the summer version. I'm out of ideas, guys! I kind of like this modified look, though. It's probably not true that it's perfect for a summer camping trip but it looks perfect to me. I love the backpack, giving the look less lazy and more adventurous. I love this baggy top as well, a must-wear every summer. It's super lightweight and super breezy so it's very comfortable to wear in the heat. The flats too. These are my favourite flats back home. I wore them so much back then that it left a mark on my skin (thanks to the sun that tans all the rest of my skin). The mark looked almost critical that a friend asked if there was anything wrong with me, if I was sick. But I still wore it everyday afterwards, sitting at the back of Firu's bike and letting the sun making its mark on my skin.

Here's The Story...

Here's the story, not that it needs telling because everyone who matters already know and those who don't never ask, but I'm going to tell it anyway. I am moving back home to Indonesia. After three years of living in Germany, I am going back to Indonesia for good. It's still way surreal and giving me mixed feelings. After three years of doing various things, of trying out different things, I'm going back home. As I've hinted in my previous post, not many people support this idea. Here's why: I haven't finished my undergraduate studies yet. I applied to art schools and got rejected two consequent years. So my going home, to some people, just seem like giving up, like a hail mary, like running away. They tell me to just continue my studies here, continue studying something that I'm not passionate about, something I picked from the start only to stall.

'Can't you continue your previous major?'

'What's wrong with it?'

'You can try again next year.'

'Such a shame, someone with your caliber.'

'If you keep going, you can get a degree, you know.'

Here's the story: I don't know where I'm going from here. I've got some plans in mind but also not sure how they will turn out. I want to try out as many things as possible if God will allow me. My parents, my family, they're extra supportive of my decision. My best friends are more than happy to have me back home, with or without a frikkin' degree. These people, the people who actually matter, they know who I am, they know what I'm trying to become and they know what people these days are capable of even without a title at the end of their names. These days, more and more people who never or haven't gone to college or university are getting more things done. Some people drop out of uni to pursue their actual dreams and they work hard for it and they pursue it. Who cares about a piece of paper which might not even guarantee your ability to actually do as many things as those who don't have a degree? Some professions probably still need degrees because they are mandatory. But let's not turn a blind eye on other options, other doors, other choices that will bring us to the same place.

Here's the real story: After 3 years in Germany, pursuing the one thing I wanted - with the lack of information that I obtained way too late, the one thing that I never achieved in the end. Looking back, I knew I could've done better. If I could turn back time, I would've done things differently. But I can't. So I'm just moving forward. There's no guarantee that things would've turned out differently, had I done all the things I should've done, anyway. So I'm just moving forward. I choose to start over in a place I know so well and I believe I could easily fit in. It's probably a coward's way out but I certainly don't see it that what and it's what I've decided.

Last Year's Wishes = This Year's Apologies

"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realise two out of three ain't bad." - I'm Like A Lawyer With the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You), Fall Out Boy

Sometimes I feel people are too focused on one idea of success and happiness that they forget that it could come in many different shapes, sizes and colours. They tend to try to enforce their principles on me, telling me that I'm wrong, that I'm stupid. What do they know? There are many different roads you can travel through to get to where you want to be, many different methods to get you there. So you pick road A and I pick road B. You might get there faster but I saw more beauty, met more people and did more deeds. In the end, can you truly tell me your way is better? Can you still say that I'm wrong? So you want to go to Rome and I prefer El Dorado, if both of us are happy, who's to say that one of us is wrong? Sometimes I do feel like their opinions are getting to me, that I should indeed do as they see fit and continue on the path that I do not wish to pursue at all. I know I could go on - had I chosen that road - but I will live years of unhappiness in the end. I don't expect anyone to understand - a lot of people don't - but just let me do it my way.

H&M top // Motel Rocks high-waisted pants via TK Maxx // Typo satchel bag // C&A kitty hat // vintage brogues

This is a recreated outfit of this from last summer. Since I never documented it on the blog before, I thought, why not? Last summer this was one of the outfits I wore during my stay over at my friend Iva's house. The nearly-cropped top and high-waisted pants? The perfect combo, no? Don't really know what else to say about the outfit now. Nothing is new, everything is something I've had for at least several months. Oh, but I feel like the pants are a little loose this time around. I think I am probably losing weight from the lack of eating I've been doing lately. Not sure if it's to be celebrated or to be a concern.