Lessons Learnt: Starting Over

Up until I was 17, everything in my life seemed to be right on track—then I graduated from high school and it started to go downhill from there. At 18, I moved to Germany, starting my pre-uni a year later than I should've—and, ultimately, pushing my uni 2 years back. I failed to get into numerous art schools that I applied to. In the end, I was 22 when I decided to fly back home and put a reset on my life. Though at first I wasn't sure how I wanted to proceed, I ended up starting over with uni—with a major that I had been aiming for all along—at the time when all my friends have graduated. Not only was my boyfriend at the time still in Germany, but I felt pretty much alone in this experience. Fast forward to 4 years later, when I thought my life was going back on track somewhat—but then my long-term relationship ended. It was entirely my choice, yet it was still uncharted territory. Not too long afterwards, I began a new one. So, I guess you can say that I'm pretty experienced in this whole 'starting over' thing—and here are some thing I've learnt from it.

The (Emotional) Art of Decluttering

This post is written as part of the #MulaiDariLemari campaign from Tukar Baju

Ah, decluttering—I'm sure you've heard of it. It's been all the rage these days, hasn't it? People are doing it left and right; some even call it Marie Kondo-ing their wardrobe. Whatever you call it, you know it: It is the act of going through your possessions—be it in your bedroom, bathroom, kitchen or garden—and deciding what stays and what goes, depending on whether or not you still need and/or want the items. Sounds like such a simple, yet laborious task, no? Which is why I also haven't done it in ages—the last time was around 2014/2015. But, now that I've finally got time to spare, I thought I should give it a go once again, as 5-6 years is a long time to go without curating your wardrobe, wouldn't you agree? So last Sunday I got some boxes ready, poured a glass of iced coffee, put on some appropriate music and opened my wardrobe—it was time for some decluttering.

Lessons from My Finished 9-Year Relationship

Today would've marked the 10-year anniversary to my previous romantic relationship—the first one I've ever had. Starting as we were both entering adulthood, this relationship began at the cusp of major changes in our lives at the time. Alas, that relationship ended towards the end of 2019. I really thought it'd last forever. I really thought we would be our only partners. But 17-year-old me couldn't foresee the changes that were about to happen; she couldn't know the developments that unraveled along the way. She couldn't even imagine that I would be the one pulling the trigger. All that being said, I would say, we had a pretty good and healthy relationship. For a while, we were happy. Something like that—one that has been with you for so long—created a lasting impression, imprinted a series of habits and reflexes to fall back on. These are things you can't just shake off in a hurry. I don't like to think of it as a failure. I'd like to think that the relationship has served its purpose; he, however, might beg to differ. The relationship and the ending both changed my life and, if anything, there are so many things I could take away from it. If you'll allow me, I'd love to share a few major ones with you.

Lessons Learnt: Friendship

Friendship has always been one of the things which confuses me. Growing up many things were a puzzle to me, but as I got older I start to learn the rope and they become clearer—romance, education, career—you name it! But, as the years go by, friendship seems to be more and more complicated, hazy and mysterious. Between trying not to hurt each other's feelings, figuring out if someone wants to be friends with you and making time to actually hang out, I am caught in a whirlpool of friendship codes and social conduct secrets. Before I know it, I was faced with friendship breakups, drifting apart and alienations. Nobody has ever told me that friendship could be a great chore when you're in your 20s. Maybe it's just me, but if you feel the same about this subject, I hope these few lessons could help you figure things out—or at least could be something you can relate to. Disclaimer: these aren't guidelines, Lord knows I'm not perfect.

25 Things I've Learnt in 25 Years

You may have seen lists like this floating around the web—usually in video form, which was my first choice too, actually. They're really up my alley, so I thought I'd put in my two cents as well. Okay, I realise that they're usually posted on or around someone's birthday—and, as you may notice, mine was at least two weeks ago—but I've been thinking a lot about this recently and itching to write it all down. I hope you don't mind. Usually, people mix the hard-hitting life lessons with something lighter, but me being me, I feel like they will all be rather...epiphany-driven. Also, they're written in chronological order, as far back as I can date, so the real heavy ones should be at the very end. Hope you'll like this list—and maybe share one or two you've learnt yourself!

Lessons Learnt: Managing Money

October is officially here, which means it's time to countdown to my birthday and do a bit of a review of all the goals on my 24 Before 25 List. One of it was to manage money better (and save for the future). While the latter part of that goal/challenge was yet to be achieved, I think I definitely learnt how to organise my money much better now—especially since I have a relatively steady income flow as of 2017. I've gone from a hedonistic, ignorant girl to a full-fledged money-saving woman in the span of one year—okay, actually, this journey has been going on for longer than that. A little disclaimer: I am no money expert, perhaps even far from it, and my money-managing journey is far for perfect, but I feel like I have some lessons in my pocket now that I can share with all of you. Of course, if you want actual, professional tips, you could check out The Financial Diet—there are some kick-ass money-savvy ladies over there. In the meantime, I hope you'll find these lessons somewhat helpful.

Lessons Learnt: No Shopping

Today I want to talk a little bit about how I accidentally stopped shopping for clothes for over a year—until March 4. Before then, the last time I had to actually pay for a new piece of clothing was in January 2016, when I made my first ever purchase at Book of Deer. It is so fitting that this clothing line that I've lusted over for so long should be the last one in a while. That being said, I did acquire a hand-me-down clothing item from a swap with a friend. Also, I managed to finally slip into an item that's been sitting in my wardrobe for too long. But last month, unfortunately, I had to break the streak and buy a pair of boots, because the shoes I was wearing at the time deteriorated. However, it still stands that I haven't gone and paid for a clothing item for a year. It's a bit funny, really, since I never vowed to do so, and many external factors—such as finances—also contribute to this outcome, but I did learn a few things in the process. Here they are.

Lessons Learnt: Blogging

There are certain things in life we learn from doing and certain things we learn from other people's experience. Unlike school subjects or college classes, the topics of these lessons aren't specifically disclosed. You have to know which lesson to learn and which wisdom to take out of it all. One of the things you can do to become a successful person in life is to acknowledge the lessons you've learnt and, if possible, share them with other people. Sharing knowledge, as opposed to popular belief, can actually make you smarter, wiser and a better person. Plus, it can be so much fun! Here's to lessons learnt and me sharing them with you.

Today is the 4th anniversary of this little ol' blog! Can you believe it? When I started out, I honestly didn't know whether four years later I would still be here—although, well, four years ain't that long—but I'm glad I'm still doing this. You can actually still read my first post in 2012, which is so different quality-wise to what I've been doing lately. Hopefully, you have noticed the growth as well—so that it won't seem all-in-my-head as much. You may think I'm hardly the blogger to give "tips" on this topic, seeing as how few experience I have in terms of sponsorship and haters—or whatever else other bloggers normally go through—but I feel like I've learnt quite a number of things throughout the past few years and I'd like to share them with you all.

Lessons Learnt: Traveling

There are certain things in life we learn from doing and certain things we learn from other people's experience. Unlike school subjects or college classes, the topics of these lessons aren't specifically disclosed. You have to know which lesson to learn and which wisdom to take out of it all. One of the things you can do to become a successful person in life is to acknowledge the lessons you've learnt and, if possible, share them with other people. Sharing knowledge, as opposed to popular belief, can actually make you smarter, wiser and a better person. Plus, it can be so much fun! Here's to lessons learnt and me sharing them with you.

Traveling has always been one of my passions. Going to an unknown place, discovering new cultures and meeting new people intrigue me so much. Dare I say it's how I spend 80% of my time when I lived in Germany. If you don't believe me, you could always see it for yourself. Obviously, traveling isn't always as glamorous as all the photos portray, it takes a lot of planning, a lot of financing and a lot of patient. Especially when you're going somewhere you've never even heard of or don't speak the native language. Despite what you might think, traveling can be quite stressful - as is with most activity outside your comfort zone. But there are obviously ways to deal with these conflicts peacefully. And this is what I've learnt.

Lessons Learnt: Learning Something New

There are certain things in life we learn from doing and certain things we learn from other people's experience. Unlike school subjects or college classes, the topics of these lessons aren't specifically disclosed. You have to know which lesson to learn and which wisdom to take out of it all. One of the things you can do to become a successful person in life is to acknowledge the lessons you've learnt and, if possible, share them with other people. Sharing knowledge, as opposed to popular belief, can actually make you smarter, wiser and a better person. Plus, it can be so much fun! Here's to lessons learnt and me sharing them with you.

Ever since I was a little girl, my parents have taught me to keep learning. They bought me encyclopedias, pointed me towards educational TV programmes, supported my language skills and showed me the world. Even now I still get pointers and help from my Dad to learn new things. When I was little, I was certain I wouldn't have to learn anymore once I graduated high school - or college. But I was wrong. There doesn't need to be an end to learning and knowledge will always evolve. And, unlike school - which can put so much pressure on our ability to learn -, gaining knowledge in the real world can actually be quite enjoyable and useful. I really love being able to do new things after learning to do them first. And here's what I've learnt from learning.

Lessons Learnt: Relationships

There are certain things in life we learn from doing and certain things we learn from other people's experience. Unlike school subjects or college classes, the topics of these lessons aren't specifically disclosed. You have to know which lesson to learn and which wisdom to take out of it all. One of the things you can do to become a successful person in life is to acknowledge the lessons you've learnt and, if possible, share them with other people. Sharing knowledge, as opposed to popular belief, can actually make you smarter, wiser and a better person. Plus, it can be so much fun! Here's to lessons learnt and me sharing them with you.

For over three years, Firu and I have been a couple. Almost four years, even. You can read how we met here, if you like. Four years might seem like a lot, it might seem like very little. This is the only actual relationships we've ever had too. And, during our time together, we have shared tears, anger and laughter. We've been through a lot and learnt a great deal from our experiences. It's not to say we've got it all figured out. Like everyone else, we've had our ups and downs - especially with the constant distance between us. But the lessons we've taken helped us a lot to cope with our situations and stress. We hope they will help you guys too.

Lessons Learnt: Studying Abroad

There are certain things in life we learn from doing and certain things we learn from other people's experience. Unlike school subjects or college classes, the topics of these lessons aren't specifically disclosed. You have to know which lesson to learn and which wisdom to take out of it all. One of the things you can do to become a successful person in life is to acknowledge the lessons you've learnt and, if possible, share them with other people. Sharing knowledge, as opposed to popular belief, can actually make you smarter, wiser and a better person. Plus, it can be so much fun! Here's to lessons learnt and me sharing them with you.

Since two and half years ago, I've been living in Germany to continue my studies. I came to this country with 17 other people and we once lived together. Though I've basically been here for only a while, I've learnt quite a lot from the variety of experiences I happened upon or intentionally run into. My friends who read my blog probably think that my life is basically traveling and there aren't even any classes. But that is so far from the truth. And that's why I want to share some lessons that I've learnt. I've only just started studying abroad to Germany, I've never studied abroad in any other countries. However, the lessons I've learnt are basically general. They can be applied to any such situations in whatever country you study in. In the end, we're all ex-pats after all. Might as well help each other out.