Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Meet Me at Lantern Waste

「さよならから一番遠い場所で待ち合わせよ」- RADWIMPS, "Sparkle"

Life after Firu left technically has only been a few days, but it definitely seems like several years already. It feels strange to go back to my routine, as though I'm betraying the limbo we both indulged in for the last 30 days. To be honest, I expected to cry myself to sleep more nights than I did. It surprised me a little bit to see that I found no urge to shed my tears by the third night. Maybe I just have a lot of other things on my mind, enough to distract me from the need to bawl. Maybe it's true what they say: you are stronger than you think you are. But still, every morning when I wake up, I'm just reminded by all the memories we share. It's hard to remind myself to keep breathing—I tend to forget when I freeze, willing the world to stop spinning. Also, reunion brings new memories, which adds to the list of things I can't see without wanting to break into a million pieces by the sheer nostalgia of our brief time together. It was clever, if not thoughtful, for Firu to spare the last full day here for me. We had the best date of our lives and I can't stop recalling pieces of it. Oh, the woe of the romantics!

Thrifted dress + jacket + loafers // hand-me-down purse // Sejauh Mata Memandang scarf // photos by my sis

One of the things I've been doing to keep myself busy and well distracted is reading The Chronicles of Narnia (review coming soon!). Okay, technically, that's what I've been doing since February too, but I'm completely hooked. Now that I'm done with the series, I'm reading the Pocket Companion. It's just so interesting to dive deeper into the story and symbolism, etc. When my siblings and I went out on a bit of quality time and I asked for these pictures to be taken, I saw the lamp posts in the area and was quickly reminded of the Narnia reference. By the way, the spot in which Lucy Pevensie comes into Narnia for the first time—and meets Mr. Tumnus the faun—is called Lantern Waste. It's not mentioned until The Magician's Nephew came out, where Lantern Waste becomes the point where the world of Narnia begins. I guess you can sort of say the title of this post has a double meaning: "Meet me at the beginning." Beginning of what, who knows?

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