Big City, Small Dreams

Jakarta is a big city and, although I don't actually live there, I spend 90% of my daily life on its outskirts. Sometimes I forget, however, how gigantic this city can be. With an office taking place in a house-like environment, skyscrapers aren't part of my daily grind. Often, when I venture to its centre, I gawp at the looming towers of steel and glass and the grey, grey polluted stratosphere that we have grown so familiar with. To be perfectly honest, I hate this city. It's so big, so crowded, so full of problems and so hard to change, despite evolving in its infrastructure every few months. The people can be very stubborn, not willing to alter the way they think or behave, for the sake of convenience and/or a misguided belief that everything will stay the same. What irks me most of all is how hard it is to find a place of peace and quiet in this roaring dystopia of false hopes—and how far away it is from nature. All I'm asking for is a private space somewhere to gather my thoughts or scream at the top of my lungs. All this city offers is the rigid constructions of what consumerism represents. 

Thrifted dress (worn as top) + skirt + loafers // photos by Kuat

You would think that, since I was born and raised in this city, I would grow accustomed to whatever mould it has in store for me. Unfortunately, I'm actually a small town girl at heart. I miss living in places I can pretty much explore in an hour or so. I miss being able to walk from one end of a town to another without much difficulty. I miss seeing small, local stores in an antique turn-of-the-century building. I miss talking to random strangers on a public transport who I will most likely bump into on the same bus. I miss biking along the streets on my way to do groceries. Most of all, I miss being able to call upon a little peace and quiet outside my house. You might also think that these photos, despite being taken in Jakarta, represents exactly that—peace and quiet. Alas no, it was only small bursts of stolen seconds, in which luckily nobody intruded on our little photo sessions. But it's far and few between.